The 9 Muses. My imaginary Goddesses. The ones who have relegated me with my creativity, my left hand. With them, I can feel the entire world around me, feel its breath during windy days, feel its warm heart during summers, feel its bitterness during winters, feel its desire to heal during light rains, feel its desire to kill in thunderstorms…oh, what’s the point with the muses?
Ever since I was young, I’ve always had this talent that no one had or maybe I’m just ignorant. I’ve always thought (and even teachers have compliment me on this) that I was creative. In first grade, when the class was taught how to write happily ever after stories, I worked my creative juices and my first grade teacher loved reading those superficially trite stories beginning with, “once upon a time” and ending with, “and they lived happily ever after, the end.”
But seriously, what’s the point if I could write those short fairy tales in elementary school? I can’t do it now, or maybe I still can do it right now, but I most definitely cannot discipline myself to sit through an entire story, to make one up. The problem with me now is I have no discipline. I’m lazy, and it’s one of the worse degrees of laziness an Asian girl can ever get. I still believe and have strong faith in my ability to write a truly beautiful story, but I just can’t get myself to start it or stop it…I tried a long time ago, but I failed.
Maybe some people think that I’m thinking way too ahead of myself, but the whole mystery of what I’m going to do with my future haunts me everyday. If I didn’t mention this before, I’ll mention it now: my GPA in college is abhorrently horrifying. Horrific I tell you. There is no way I’ll get into medical, pharmacy, law, or even lumberjack school with that GPA. In the beginning, I refused to show my parents for the reason that I thought they would scold me so badly, and I was right. So after looking at my horrible GPA, they told me either to not be a doctor or switch majors because I was really dumb.
I’m sorry parents. I probably really am dumb. You don’t want me as a doctor. This shock really made me think. I thought of my original dreams of being a writer, of being so successful a writer that I could produce and direct my own movie based off the books I created with my head and the stories I created in my mind.
But….even if I have the skill to do all this, if I don’t work hard and do it…I’ll get nowhere. Therefore, this year will be a year of flux, not staticity.
Why?
Because I can. Because I know I’m gifted. Because I know my dear Muses have chosen me for something.
