Recently, I’ve been watching some dramas, or actually just this one. It’s called Boys Before Flowers, and even though I know the storyline already from watching the taiwanese version and anime, I still watched random episodes of it because Lee Min Ho is so gorgeous with the curly hair, which is an absolute understatement of course, but I still think Jerry Yan is more handsome.
On the other hand, Lee Min Ho is a much better actor. He can act out the jealous, obsessive, rich, snobby boyfriend better than anyone so far.
Anyways, I just wanted to talk about how unrealistic this drama is. First of all, a rich man falls in love with an extremely poor girl. How is that possible? Why do dramas never show girls choosing poor men over rich men? After watching several clips of the show and getting addicted, I started feeling sad because I don’t have a lover, and if I did, would my economic/ social status seriously hinder my chances? Also, I felt sad because the story depicted in the drama would never occur to me or anyone else in real life. Wouldn’t everyone want to live in a fairytale land like that?
And then I thought about the meaning of love. What is love? Do people love because of appearance, money, personality? For example, say you look for people with a good personality and say that someone who has a good personality comes along and you fall in love with him/ her. Then another person, with every aspect controlled except the personality, comes along with a better personality. Would you suddenly rethink your love for your current lover and part with this new person?
The more I think about it, the more love seems so superficial and pointless. Perhaps that’s why I don’t have a boyfriend yet. Actually, to tell you the truth, that’s only part of the reason I don’t have a boyfriend. A boy asked me out this year, but I rejected him because I thought he was joking and really just desperate. A few years ago, another boy asked me out, but once again, I rejected him because he had just broken up with one of my good friends at school, and like I mentioned in my previous blog postings, good friends at my school are hard to find. I couldn’t do this to her, and plus, I didn’t particularly like him. Now we’re just friends, but he still asks me out to places as though I agreed to date him. So once in a while, I remind him that we’re only going to Wendy’s for lunch as friends. Of course, he immediately agrees, but I sometimes think he’s lying.
As to his nature, he really knows how to treat girls. Every time we walk into a restaurant or go outside, he’ll open the door for me. If I’m hungry, he’ll offer to drive me somewhere to eat, and when I’m lonely, he’ll offer to talk to me. On the other hand, he’s very cheesy. One time he plucked a flower from my front yard and gave it to me as a love token (bleh. LOL). The other time, he took out his cell phone, which has a pseudomirror in the back and moved it so that my reflection was in there. Then he continued to say how pretty I looked. Also, he doesn’t like to think. I’m the type of girl who likes to contemplate things such as the purpose of life, love, etc., but every time I mention this to him, he gets really irritated. He also gets mad when I beat him at sports. He makes excuses such as how he’s not actually concentrating, and that’s why he lost.
So why don’t I just ask out the boys I like? Well, before my parents strongly discouraged relationships at such a young age, but now I really don’t care whether they discourage it or not, but I don’t feel like asking any boy out because the boys at my school are all jerks. I’m usually a fun- loving, immature girl also, but some boys here are really mean. If you say something wrong, instead of laughing in a friendly manner, they simply call you stupid with a serious facade. The there are the boys who aren’t jerky and that I have fun with, but sadly, I think of them too much as friends rather than anything more, and I seriously wouldn’t want to ruin our relationship.
And then, there are those who stare at you as though they’re interested. They show all possible signs, but they just don’t go up and speak to you. All they do is stare…scary…I know. Sometimes I just want to go up to them and say, “Why are you staring at me? It’s really creepy,” but it’s not because I’m not brave and blunt enough to do it, it’s just that I can’t be sure, and plus, I’d rather do it when not many people are around, and usually there are.
So this is why as of May 2, 2009, I have no lover. But don’t get me wrong. I’ve confessed my love, been obsessed, and have also stared, but I have either gotten rejected or a pity acceptance, which I absolutely hate. I want to be loved without restraint. I want to fall in love to the point where all I can see is you, my fated. One day, you’ll take off your invisibility cloak, and I’ll get to see your body in its purest form as we purify each other. But until that day, I will patiently wait.